I haven't posted on this blog in a while. On a daily basis, I try to forget that I have Chiari Malformation (a somewhat impossible task). The daily headaches continue, reminding me every day of my limitations. For the past few months, my neck and shoulder muscles have been impossibly tight. The muscle relaxers failed to work, and I'm faced again with a decision. Do I seek out a pain specialist and get pain meds for the really bad times or do I just keep muddling through.
Essential oils, EFT, positive thinking, yoga, walking, stretches, and icing can usually keep the pain from going into full-on migraine incapacitation mode. But these are things I have to do daily, sometimes multiple times a day. So my day becomes a series of pain management tasks, trying to fit those in around the normal tasks of working and taking care of my actual life.
Yesterday, I had a little bit of an embarrassing breakdown in front of my best friend. It had been a long day of pain and nothing seemed to be helping, so by the late evening, I was barely holding it together. When my friend stopped by, I just started crying and sobbing in my kitchen. It felt good to let it out, but I'm slightly embarrassed by my childish behavior today.
So, what do I do? Pump more chemicals into my body? Actually have the surgery? Let things go as they are?
No answers, today, friends. No answers here.
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